Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
