i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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