I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
