I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
