the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
