how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
