wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he fucked my hip out of place.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
