Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
