I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
