I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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