i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
