Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
