I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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