Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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