Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
