You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
