Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
