When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
birth control should be required to get into college
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
