Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize