this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
