ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
What a dumb baby whore.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
