you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
