Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
