i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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