i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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