The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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