no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Randomize
