I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
