She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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