Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
