We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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