what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
