Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
