Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
