Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
