The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
