i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
