he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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