six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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