38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
