If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
