Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You pole danced in your parka.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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