I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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