Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
