you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
