If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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