i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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