Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
