It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
