So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
