Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
