NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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