I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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