I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
